What language shall I borrow, To thank Thee, dearest Friend, For this, Thy dying sorrow, Thy pity without end? Oh, make me thine forever! And should I fainting be, Lord, let me never, never, Outlive my love for Thee.
-O Sacred Head Now Wounded by Paul Gerhardt, 1607-1676
Some of you know that my daughter, Cori, does not talk. She knows a few words but speaks mostly in vowels. She is able to use sign language but most people aren’t fluent and even those who are don’t understand Cori’s slang. When my youngest wants something she screams, she hollers, and she yells. She also lashes out with anger because she gets frustrated very quickly when her caregivers and friends don’t “get” what she is trying to say. Cori’s lack of speech, however, is not an indicator of what she understands. She knows what she wants to say, yet is limited in her ability to communicate.
This fall we have introduced the “talker” into our home. It is an app on my daughter’s IPad which has given her a voice. It is a way for her to communicate with those who surround her. There is a series of buttons she is able to press and the device in turn “speaks” for her. Thus far we are keeping it simple and have limited the device to sharing basic needs and wants. Cori can tell us when she is hungry, tired, when she has finished an activity, and the like. Moving forward, the possibilities are limitless. We hope this new “language” will bless Cori and our home.
I can’t help but think that even those of us who can speak to one another often miscommunicate. We don’t know how to talk to one another. We express our frustration in more sophisticated ways than Cori does but the challenges that exist between God’s people are real. Husbands and wives miss signals, parents and kids talk over each other, text messages are abrupt, phone calls are ended too quickly, and don’t forget about the forgotten wave when one neighbor passes another on the highway.
It is worth asking: What language shall we use to speak to one another? What words can we use to communicate love, care, concern, anger, frustration, or grief? What is an appropriate way to share what is in our hearts and on our minds?
Like so many things in this life, we often take our language for granted. We assume that everyone is on the same page as we are. The language we are called to share requires us to work. It calls to be love others. To borrow from St. Paul in 1 Corinthians 13, our language ought to be patient, kind; not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It ought not insist on its own way; or be irritable or resentful; it should not rejoice in wrongdoing. We are called in our words and intentions to rejoice in the truth.
Cori’s talker, at least for now, gives us a very clear understanding of what she needs. Wouldn’t it be nice, if in our interactions with one another, such clarity could be found? As we struggle to live together gently, may the love of Christ give us courage to share this life with those God has graced us with. May we be bold to move beyond assumptions and listen to our neighbors. May the peace of Christ bless you and gift you with a language of faith and hope.
