The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in the him!” The Lord is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him. Lamentations 3:22-25
My daughter Cori spilled some milk a few weeks ago. She didn’t spill much, it was only a few drops. The challenge of this minor incident is that now Cori has become obsessed with the mistake. Cori laments that she spilled her milk. She signs “sorry” over and over. She keeps asking me if I am mad at her. When I say “no”, she tells me that she is mad at herself.
It was with great joy that I took this picture in Hugo’s the other day. I wasn't celebrating the mess on the floor or making fun of the person who dropped this half gallon of milk. I rejoiced and took this picture because I was able to bring it home and show my daughter.
As Cori and I sat at the dinner table having the conversation about the spilled milk for the hundredth time, I showed her the picture. I asked her if she spilled this much milk. “No!” She was impressed at the mess. This photo gave her some perspective about what a really big mess of spilled milk looks like. I hope she will give herself some grace.
Cori’s experience isn’t so different than the rest of us. When we make mistakes, we have lots of feelings about them. Sometimes we feel guilty because of what we have done. Sometimes we feel ashamed and worry there is something wrong with us. Sometimes we are able to shake things off and move on. Other times the feelings linger and it takes while to process. Not all of us can shake off or move on from our mistakes quickly. We all know that a lot of learning can take place when we don’t accomplish what we intended to do.
The reading from Lamentations printed above reminds us that we are blessed with God whose love and mercy is unending. We worship a God who lets us start over each day in forgivenesses which makes all things new. We are called beloved by a God who doesn’t hold our mistakes against us!
Yet like my daughter, we can become obsessed about the things we have done and left undone. We can allow our hearts and minds to fill with regrets continually running “could have”, “would have”, “should have” scenarios though our minds. I have heard people tell me that they “can’t forgive themselves”. The problem with this is that forgiveness of the self is not Biblical.
Scripture calls us to forgive one another as God has forgiven (Colossians 3:13). Jesus says we are to forgive seven times seventy times, meaning over and over (Matthew 18: 21-22). The Word of the Lord reminds us to gather and hear the forgiveness offered by God (Acts 3:19). We hear that we are to call out those who sin and forgive them (Luke 17:3-4). We are told to confess our sins (1 John 1:9). But you cannot forgive yourself. You can only hear the Word of God that says in Christ you are a new creation, everything old has passed away (2 Corinthians 5:17).
The only way to get beyond feeling like you need to forgive yourself is to constantly hear the forgiveness of God. If you don’t, you will remain stuck in the same loop Cori has been in. We wrestle with the truth that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). We haven’t ever been, nor will we ever be, perfect. Good people, bad people, young and old, all make mistakes. We sin against each other and we sin against God.
In spite of this reality, God has promised that the Lord will do good to those who depend and search for the Almighty. When Jesus told his disciples, “Come to me, you who are weary and carrying heavy burdens and I will give you rest, for my yoke is easy and my burden in light,” (Matthew 11:28) he was making a statement about our sin. Jesus is saying that we aren’t responsible for carrying our burdens and regrets. Jesus will do it for us. In fact, to Jesus they are light and easy!
I long for the day when Cori is able set aside her feelings about the spilled milk. I hope she is able to hear that her sin is forgiven. If there are things that you struggle with, please hear the good news, “Your sins are forgiven in the name of Jesus Christ!” It may be that you need to hear it again and again and again. Believe that the work that Christ Jesus has completed on the cross is for you. Everything old is gone. Live in the newness of Christ!
Pastor Kristin
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